So even though I did do some of those survey type posts this time with Laney, I still feel like the questions were pretty pointed in that they didn't cover everything that I covered in the wrap-up type post at the end of Charley's pregnancy so I'm going to do one of those too. & I hope this is the last pregnancy post from me - forever. Gasp!
First Trimester ---- July 16 - October 17, 2014
Man. The months of August - October were not my favorite times ever. I briefly wrote about my first trimester here, but let's draw it out more shall we?
I wouldn't want to do it again. I was sick all day long for at least 2 months. I threw up often. At work and at home. Maybe elsewhere too? I can't remember. Although I didn't venture out of home or work often so maybe not. I'm positive it happened out of an open car door on the way to work at least. Eesh. What a miserable time.
Food obviously was touchy for those months too. I was used to drinking a healthy kale and berry smoothie every morning up until this point, and once or twice those violently came back up and I was done with those for a while. That was for sure my most nutritious "meal" of the day so to give those up didn't feel all that great. There wasn't a whole lot that was appetizing. A couple of REALLY BAD fast food items did the trick sometimes. And muffins came into the picture here too. Chocolate chip muffins, to be exact. The GIANT ones from the grocery store bakery. And giant glasses of MILK. Weird huh? I remember going to the beach to see two of my friends and when I got there they offered me something to drink and I asked for a giant glass of milk. Of all things to want when you feel nauseous, it usually isn't milk but at that point it is just whatever works. Both the muffins and the giant glass of milk (had both today, in fact, but in addition to the smoothie) continued throughout the rest of the pregnancy.
Emotionally. So. I don't know how to describe my thoughts or my emotions this whole pregnancy. They were definitely wacky, but I guess in some way justified too? Anybody that knew I was pregnant during the first trimester and then offered congratulations was often met with a wince from me. I didn't like hearing any congratulations - it felt like they were jinxing something after my previous losses. After our first ultrasound where Laney measured only a few days behind what I was expecting, John and I argued in the waiting area while we waited to meet with the doctor across from a very pregnant lady that probably felt very uncomfortable. We argued whether or not this was yet another miscarriage. I wanted to go on believing it was - it was easier for me to think this because I had grown used to this - and he wanted to be positive this time ("it is only a few days off this time") and I just thought being positive would make it harder on me later. Rough times for my heart and brain and emotions.
And finally size wise. I was paranoid about EVERYTHING, and size was no exception. I lost 10 pounds over this first trimester and then was paranoid on why I didn't need any maternity clothing or even that I didn't have any trouble buttoning up my pants like normal. Looking back now - DUH LACEY - but at the time I thought I should at least be bloated. Not necessarily in the first trimester, but I wore regular clothing up to 20 weeks this time so it just made me scratch my head a lot. We'll see how ironic this is when I get to the third trimester section.
Second Trimester ---- October 18, 2014 - January 17, 2015
This trimester started out still feeling the same as the previous 13 weeks. We were in the midst of fall festival season and I remember feeling icky at several of those after having some of the food at those festivals. We got the anatomy scan scheduled for November 25th, but seeing as how my paranoia was out of control, we shelled out the cash to find out the sex of the baby a few weeks earlier on November 2nd. It had been a long time since that 8 week ultrasound and that cash was well spent for my sanity. And, of course, finding out that we were having another girl was icing on the cake. All three of us wanted Laney to be a girl so obviously we were all happy about that. Not that a healthy boy wouldn't have made us happy, but I am a firm believer that you are allowed to have a preference and still wish for a healthy baby. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Okay! So, this trimester was already starting off pretty good! Sometime between fall festivals and that elective ultrasound, the paranoia died down (not all the way though), the nausea went away and things were looking up! I announced on Facebook and here and was slowly starting to accept congratulations without wincing. Then we had our anatomy scan on the 25th of November and I had a lot riding on this appointment. I knew we were having a girl and I knew she was still growing, but I feared that something else may be wrong. It was just a mindset that was hard to break free of after so many disappointing ultrasounds. At this point prior to Laney's anatomy scan, I'd had 10 ultrasounds in my life, and at least 6 of those had been bad news or questionable news. So I didn't love going into that ultrasound room. I told myself if everything was okay here that I would finally start to believe this was going to happen and move forward with planning for a baby. And the good news was that everything was good! Laney was healthy and growing and this was happening. Hallelujah.
Emotionally this trimester was about half and half. Same as first trimester pre-ultrasound, and post-ultrasound I was obviously much happier, but I still didn't like talking about pregnancy much. I still don't know why I've been like this. I have definitely been grumpier all along too. Luckily anyone around me has given me a pass on this front.
Symptom wise was pretty good this trimester too. I had that one itsy bitsy little blackout episode (darn Cinnamon Toast Crunch!) and then the beginning of some back and tailbone pain, but that was really it. The belly started to become a more profound pregnancy belly versus "does she have a beer belly or is she pregnant?" around this time also. Though I was still hiding it to discourage conversation about it. Me = weird.
Third Trimester ---- January 18 - NOW
So this last little bit has been really good. I knew that second+ pregnancies brought along the pain and discomfort earlier so I was prepared for that but surprisingly it really hasn't been bad at all. I've had to rest more and my energy definitely depletes a lot quicker, but it has been manageable. My biggest complaints have been the shortness of breath and tailbone or back pain, and those things have really just been within the last few weeks so I feel very lucky in this department.
Laney, like her big sister, has never had any movement that was painful to me. I don't know why this is but I've never been kicked hard in the ribs or anything like that. Just sweet little rolls for the most part. Charley was sunny side up and sometimes I feel like Laney may be too - so maybe that is why? Like her feet movements kick the outside of my belly instead of my insides? Who knows. She is most active when I'm sitting down relaxing or laying down in the evenings. Caffeine (obviously) and just cold water seem to wake her up the most. And her big sister loves to feel her move. If she's not moving Charley loves to scream "WAKE UP LANEY" into the womb. She will definitely know her sister's voice when she is born.
The swelling has been nothing like it was during Charley's pregnancy. I've had some fat feet and ankles randomly here and there (usually on the warmer days we've had lately) but they go away by morning. Of course Charley was born in September after a really hot summer so I know that has a ton to do with it. I did take off my rings last week though. They weren't coming off as easily as I liked and that made me panic so I took them off and never looked back.
I haven't weighed myself in about a week I think, but I was up about 25 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight at the time. I started out this pregnancy 10 pounds heavier than I was pre-Charley, so ultimately I'm ending right at the same weight. Well, there could be 2 more weeks to go so I'm sure I have it in me to go above and beyond in this department.
Stretch marks - I'm not sure. I THINK there are a few new ones forming around my belly button but I had a bunch from Charley on my lower belly so I can't tell if any of those are new or not. What difference does it make if I already had some anyways?
I've had Braxton Hicks contractions for the whole trimester at least. Nothing real though.
Emotionally in this trimester - the grump continued and so did the sensitivities. I'm sensitive anyways, but it was definitely easier to touch on the sensitive side these last couple of months. Tears have been just hanging out right behind my eyes just WAITING to pour out. Those suckers are hard to stop sometimes too. I've been extra sensitive about my size - even though I honestly don't feel THAT big. I just didn't like it being brought up at all. Which is the irony I mentioned way up there in the first trimester section.
And when I was checked 2 weeks ago I was 1 cm and 50% effaced. I know the entire internet really wanted to know that about my lady bits, so you are welcome. But I haven't been back to the doctor since and don't have an appointment until Friday (they were way overbooked or something. Jerks.), so not sure if there is more progress or not. When they told me my next appointment would be the 10th I snickered because I thought for sure she'd be here by then. She's still got time to meet that deadline, but I just don't feel like it is coming that soon. But of course John didn't feel Charley was coming that soon either when he ran off to Home Depot and left his cell phone at home. So, I'll just continue to wait and be anxious.
And I think that is it! A second (and last!) pregnancy in just 1,900 words.
As of TOMORROW, that will be the most pregnant I've been as Charley was born at 38 weeks gestation. So this could really happen anyyy time now. But it won't - because we are way too prepared this time. I'll be back in 2 weeks with a 40 week post looking for sympathy. I just want to meet this little lady and see Charley as a big sister already. And I want to experience that feeling of my heart growing because right now I just cannot fathom loving another kid as much as I love Charley. I know that's normal, but I am just anxious to experience it for myself.