Wednesday, July 17, 2013


Y'all. This is very Truman Show-esque again, but I feel fairly confident that someone is collecting my thoughts and ideas and profiting off of them. I can think of three clear cases right off the top of my head.


I was in high school. I was cool not cool coolish. I had just gotten my license and as luck would have it, I had a car too. I was home after school and talking on the cordless phone with my BFF. I don't know if I was expecting something in the mail or if I was just as obsessed with checking the mail then as I am now, but for some reason I got the wild idea to go check the mail while staying on the phone with my BFF.

Doesn't sound so crazy yet, right? Well, my parent's house has a pretty long driveway and I decided a little practice driving would do me some good, and how cool would it be to be able to drive a car and simultaneously talk on the phone?! It'd be like something out of the future when we'd have flying cars and such!

So I got behind the wheel, drove up to the mailbox repeatedly asking my friend "Can you hear me now?" as I went along. The signal was basically gone when I got to the mailbox but I was determined to keep my friend on the phone. I did a wacky three point turn at the top of the driveway to turn around and come back down the driveway but didn't quite turn the wheel enough since I was too concerned about my  phone reception and backed right into the mailbox.

(P.S. The car had a bit of a ding on it, and the mailbox post was quite a bit looser in the ground as a result. I never told my parents about it. Until now. Sorry y'all!!)

So, in this instance I invented three things that have since been stolen from me:

  1. Talking on a cell phone while driving. (Sure, cell phones were starting to be common at the time, but for the most part were still phones in bags with cords. My phone was cordless! And relied on a crappy signal to function! That was totally new!)
  2. "Can you hear me now?"
  3. Wreckless driving while talking on a phone. I was the PIONEER of this and I deserve a payout.


Again, I'm in high school. A freshman this time and sitting in my geometry class. This was one of the first years that high schools in our district had 9th graders at a high school instead of junior high so the school did it's best to restrict us to our own little wing. My friends were diagonally across the hall in their Physical Science class.

My brother and I owned these electronic address book devices, similar to this:

You could store phone numbers and addresses and maybe a couple other things like a calculator or something. BUT! The most fun part of them was the messages you could send back and forth between them. We used to sit in our bedrooms across the hall from each other and send messages back and forth. Or sit on either side of the backseat in the car and chat with them. Things like "GET YOUR FOOT OFF OF MY SIDE!" and "I'M GOING TO TELL ON YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP!" I'm sure.

So I got the bright idea to bring them both to school once or twice, and give one to my friends who'd be in science while I was in geometry. It'd look similar enough to a calculator, so the teacher really wouldn't know. And then we sent messages back and forth to each other DURING CLASS! A message composed of text sent wirelessly from one place to another! Between teenagers! I bet we even used a LYLAS or some other abbreviation in our conversation!

And that's how I invented text messaging.


One Easter as a child I awoke to find an Easter basket filled with my very favorite candy of the whole year. Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.

As I savored my peanut butter eggs I made the proclamation to whomever I could get to listen to me that they should really have these delicacies for every holiday. Pumpkins on Halloween! Christmas Trees on Christmas! Hearts at Valentine's Day.

  Recently Updated34

You are welcome.


So. With that said, I'm sure I'm not the only victim of these thieveries of ideas. Which one of you invented the internet? Or which of you invented polka dots? I'd love to give proper credit where it's due.


Jeff said...

Thanks for inventing all of those things, especially the Reese's in various shapes. Best idea ever!

Laura Diniwilk said...

This post is very old school Lacey. I love it. (Not that I don't love new school Lacey too but it's shit like this that made me internet <3 you.)

Marettie said...

This made my day! I also have felt robbed of a few ideas. One particular from my youth: LOL

Lin said...

From my belly to your ears, thank you SO much for getting Reeses to create all those cool holiday chocolates :)