Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Anti-Shower

Shower Time!

For most people, taking a shower is part of a daily routine and is super enjoyable. I am not one of those people.

I really dislike taking showers. I do think they are somewhat relaxing whilst taking them, but it's never enough to make me WANT to take one. Lucky for you, I do push through and take a shower when needed. But, I am not a daily showerer. I shower about every other day, or sometimes add an extra day in there. If there is mud or vomit or sweat or other icky bodily fluids involved, obviously the shower is much more warranted. But, I rarely sweat (probably due to rarely exercising) and I do my best to steer clear of those other bodily fluids too. So.

Other reasons I dislike showering:

- My hair. Gah. Taking a shower is basically starting over with my hair. I can get a good two days, usually 3, out of my hair. I could shower without washing my hair, but eh. My hair is usually what drives my need for a shower. And it takes so darn long for it to dry so it either makes for an extra long time to get ready in the mornings, a ponytail day, or going to bed with wet hair at night and waking up with Medusa hair. None are good options.

- Dry skin. Seriously, my skin is so dry and showering only makes it worse. Sometimes my feet are so dry and cracky looking that I try to put lotion on them to un-dry them, and I end up with shiny cracky feet instead. It's ridiculous. So, spacing out the showers helps my skin rejuvenate a bit of natural oils on it's own.

- Dry scalp. I have super thick hair, which usually leads to dry scalp. I am much more head itchy on showering days than on non-showering days.

- Dry. I like to be warm and dry.

- Time. My favorite time to shower is in the late afternoon and then I can let my hair air dry. Problem is that 5 out of 7 days of the week I am not home in the late afternoon. Which then leaves mornings before work, or night before bed. Both involve less sleep. Less sleep = no bueno. I am in no way consistent with what I choose. Sometimes I take a morning shower on Monday, and then a night shower on Wednesday and then an afternoon shower on Saturday.

So, am I alone in thinking this? Daily showerers, do you think I'm totally gross now? A quick google search tells me I'm not alone, but will anyone else actually admit it for fear of being known as dirty?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

iJudge

Judge using his gavel

I'm sure to have something to offend everyone on this list where I admit my Judgy McJudgerson tendencies. Don't be offended. We all secretly judge things in our heads, right? (Not saying it's right or anything.) And then most of the time, we end up doing these very things later in our lives and end up with a case of foot in mouth.

Anyways, currently I judge...
  • People that don't use the umbrella bags provided, instead making the floor soaking wet and slippery while their umbrella drips all over.
  • When adults still wear junior's clothing.
  • House decor; or lack thereof.
  • Kid leashes.
  • Improper elevator etiquette. Push the button for your floor and step back. No need to stand there and hold the door open for me. It creates a cluster when people can't get on to push their button because you are BLOCKING the buttons by holding the door open. Idiots.
  • Smokers.
  • DSLR owners who never stray from auto. Or I guess, never wanting to move the dial from auto. I understand we all started out there.
  • Misspellings.
  • Cluttery cars.
  • Cluttery homes.
  • Cluttery Facebook pages. This includes game crap, quotes, song lyrics, and those eCard things. I love the hide option, but it only goes so far.
I better stop there lest I be known as the girl who judges everyone. Plus, I tried to stay away from too many children-related judgy things because 1) I don't want to start an internet fight and 2) those are the things you definitely end up eating your words with later.

Who hates me now? Feel free to get me back by making your own list and saying you judge people who don't pay their mortgage. I'll only wince a little bit.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bits

So, writing a blog post to me is usually a pretty big deal. Like, I come up with the idea, make sure I have appropriate pictures accessible, get all my links working and proofread it about 10 times. I'm not even exaggerating. And even before the actual composition of the post I have random itty bitty ideas stored as drafts or saved on the voice recorder app on my phone (usually because ideas come to me while driving). I keep those ideas there until the eventually evolve into a fully thought out post and I make them happen. But, occasionally the thing that is funny/ironic/neat/embarrassing to me when I originally save the bit of information is totally stupid when I come back to it searching for inspiration and I end up deleting it.

Instead I'm going to just share these little tidbits as they come to me because time is of a premium these days, and I could churn out these little things way more often than a blog created using my typical recipe. I'll call these 'Bits' if you hadn't made that connection yet.

And it will be even greater if next time I share one of these 'bits' that I don't have a 215 word intro which then makes it seem very awkward and anti-climatic.

So....ahem. Pretend I didn't set this up to be something really great, because, well, it's not really...

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Now that I curl my hair on an (almost) daily basis, I've noticed something.

You see, when you have straight-ish hair and you curl it a section at a time, it is easy to miss a piece here and there. And when that happens it looks rather ridiculous if it's a top piece that is very visible.

It reminds me of fries. You know how there's always that one straight fry hanging out in a scrumptious order of curly fries? It's just like that. No one eats that straight fry. Because he's all yellow and awkward and needs to loosen up a bit. He's way too straight, you know? Among his fellow straight friends, sure, he's cool. But not when he's trying to hang with the curly kids.

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Can you even believe that Google Images didn't have a  single picture of the straight fry amongst the curly fries phenomenon? I had to make my own, but I'm sure you can't even tell.

And so when this happens, I spend the rest of my day searching out said straight piece and either burying it underneath curls, or trying to will that hair to curl around my pen.

This is why this is so hard for me. This is a totally stupid and pointless thought better suited for Twitter where you can say meaningless nothings all day long. But I hate Twitter. And here we are. Comparing hair to french fries. Oh, how far I've fallen.

Next I'm going to be posting those dumb quote picture supposed-to-be-funny things.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Quickly

Hi. I've been missing you. I don't have much time. Here's how I've been.

New job = much busier. Therefore, Facebook and Blog = emptier. Regrets = no.

Another reason for less Facebook/Blog time = this article.  (Read it!)

House = still building it. Month-ish or so left.

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Charley = smartest, funniest baby on the planet. Communication is awesome.

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We = went to Atlanta this weekend. The city = ehh. A bit sketchy and traffic-y. The aquarium = fun. World of Coca Cola = funner.

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Me = fatter. I don't know what's happened. (coughfastfoodcough) I need to fix it. (coughstopeatingbadfoodcough) I think I'll buy an elliptical as my housewarming gift to myself. Recommendations for a good brand/model?

Old house = under contract for just 60% of what we owed. Feeling = justified.

The = end.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

iPhone Antics: VI

Hey! Remember when I used to do that super fun thing where I shared the questionable photos from my iPhone with you with semi-funny captions?

I, II, III, IV, V

Probably not since it's been almost 2 years since I've done so. I am blaming instagram. Why save up a bunch of pointless pictures when I can instantly 'gram them? But, there are still a few head-scratchers in my photo feed on my phone, and lucky for you I'm going to share them with you here.

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This day I was wearing my hair in a ponytail which I really don't do too often anymore. Since I don't do them that often, sometimes they give me headaches when I do wear them and I find myself wanting to de-ponytail halfway through the work day.

This day I de-ponytailed and worried that I may have a ponytail line since my hair wasn't fully dry when I put it up, but I couldn't see the back of my head to be sure, so I took a picture:

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Good grief. Put your hair back in it's pony immediately! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200. Sheesh.

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This next picture was taken on a little road trip to visit a friend of mine in Aiken, SC. It's not that far from me but I'd never been there. When I told my Dad where I was going he said "You know that's the boonies, right?" and when I told that to my friend she denied it. I took this picture when I was nearly there. I'll let you decide for yourselves:

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Hehe. Boonies for sure.

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I took this picture to pick on my oldest sister. Several years ago a personalized ornament was found gleaming in the front yard a couple weeks after the Christmas tree had been taken out. It was a little rusty, but now that ornament has a story and we laugh about it every year.

This year I just so happened to find another ornament in the yard after the tree had been taken out. Who's was it? None other than the same sister, Christy. I mean, there are four of us children so what are the chances that it was HER ornament both times? She's going to develop a complex about this for sure.

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I've hinted around that I used to be pretty bored at my old job and this is just proof of that. I would start doing some really bizarre things at my desk.

I really, really dislike my profile because I feel like I am chinless and have a huge hump in my nose. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves - this is mine. Anyways, I think I exaggerate it in my mind to be worse than it is, so while at my desk one day I decided I should take a profile picture of myself to show myself it wasn't that bad.

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Once I was convinced it wasn't that bad, I noticed all of the short hairs around my face due to the post-baby hair loss that STILL have not grown out, and ugh.

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This day I went down to the break room to heat up my lunch at 12:30, which is usually when there are LINES to use a microwave. But, when I got there the break room looked like this:

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Where was everyone?! The short answer: it was payday.

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This was the day of our old townhouse's auction. I drive by our old neighborhood everyday and even though I knew the actual auction took place at the courthouse, I was curious if there would be any clues or evidence at the actual house. I don't know what I was looking for - a gavel, a megaphone and a podium? But, no. There was nothing there and I kept on driving. I wanted to go in and look once more but I was afraid I'd get arrested or something.

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And finally, this one will only make sense to other gamers, or spouses of gamers (or spouses of ex-gamers in my case). I saw this license plate and was shocked I knew what I meant since I myself never played World of Warcraft, but John used to so I feel like I know way too much about it. He quit playing when I was pregnant, thank goodness. I do remember hearing some of the people that he used to play with that would have their infant children in rockers by their computer chairs as they played. I'm sure they were giving them lots of attention, too.

Anyways, this guy obviously played for the Horde and not the Alliance.

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This is why my Instagram feed is mainly pictures of Charley. I have way too much to say about pictures to stay within the character limit of Instagram. I guess that's why I'm a blogger and not a twitterer, eh?