Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Never Ever

I've had no problems telling you the things I'd never do when I was a parent - knowing I'd have to eat my words on the majority of them at some point in my parenting. I even titled the posts 'Mock Me Later' and  'More Mocking Material' to be sure everyone realized that I knew I was setting myself of for some classic word-eating. And then when Charley was just a month old, I came back and told you how I'd been doing so far and how yummy some of those words tasted. But Charley is now nearly 10 months old and it's time for another update. Mainly because Laura told me to do so, and anything she says, I do.

Also, I shared my house pre-baby and I owe a post-baby house tour to you, too. I've been thinking about updating this one for a while, but, in order to take house pictures you should probably not have a disaster of a house. I kept telling myself that the next time it was cleanish I'd take pictures for you. And then I waited, and waited and waited. Finally, I'm just giving in. I may need to reevaluate my definition of cleanish.

& then, as if the universe was telling me not to share pictures of my "cleanish" house on the internet for fear of ridicule, I lugged my tripod and camera and baby all through the house so I could take pictures of each room, got them onto the computer and they are all washy-outty and I have no idea why. These were the best of the bunch and they still are pretty awful. But in an effort to make this blog "draft" finally be published 2 weeks after I started typing it, I'm just going to go with it.

The living room. Baby central. Basket of toys. Gate in front of the fireplace. Giant walky thing. Baby stroller. Baby standing toy. Foam play mat. It's out of control but we really have no other place unless we want to sit in her bedroom upstairs with her while she plays all day. So yeah, just as I feared, my house is way babyfied.


The dining area. Usually has a sewing machine on the table, fabrics everywhere and cat hair gathers around the table legs. Such an elegant dining area, no?


The kitchen...if you can see through the wash-outtedness. High chair. Cheerios on the counter. Wipes and bibs on the island.


Our bedroom. Jumperoo to contain Charley in the mornings when we get ready. (This doesn't really work anymore.) Toys in the floor. Also, that red basket in the corner used to be Reese's "bed", but now houses baby toys. Poor Reese.


Charley's nursery. Her room stays pretty clean actually. Pillow that goes in the glider usually gets tossed in the floor. A toy and blanket here and there. Not so bad.


& the other side, which I'm totally only sharing because of the cute in the bottom right corner.


So yes. As I feared, every room is babyfied. It makes it that much worse when you don't have a whole lot of space. Hopefully in the new house we can alleviate some of this! I'm still holding out hope, Miss Diniwilk, that I can have a house that doesn't scream A BABY LIVES HERE!

So, my never evers. Here's how I'm doing.

2. My kids will never sleep in the bed with me. Cats are welcome; children get out!

I told you before that Charley had fallen asleep on my chest a few times at 4 in the morning as an itty bitty newborn and therefore she technically slept in the bed with me. She no longer wakes up in the night, so there never is a need for late-night bringeth-to-the-beddeth, therefore I'm happy to say that she still has never napped or slept in bed with me.

I'll admit, there are some weekend days where she's about to go down for her first morning nap and I'm still sleepy and think I'll take a nap myself too and oh, wouldn't it be sweet to cuddle this baby in the bed and nap together? and so I try and position pillows on the empty side, and her in the middle and then me on the other side and settle down for a sweet mommy-daughter nap. Only to have her rolling everywhere, trying to crawl over me and all of a sudden not-tiredness. BUT, there was one day that she did finally settle down into the middle of the bed, laying in the same direction as me and everything and her little eyelids fluttered closed. I couldn't wait to fall asleep myself and share this nap together. And then, 15 minutes later I determined I couldn't get back to sleep (I'm not a good napper) and I picked her up and moved her to her crib. The end. 

Basically, this 'never' is working out for me splendidly.

3. I don't see myself ever getting over my hatred of all things sticky. If my baby just ate a sucker and the majority of it is on their hands, cheeks, lips and nose, I will not welcome a kiss or a hand-hold. Sticky is icky.

Charley has yet to have a sucker, but she has had puffs and Cheerios that get a little sticky/soggy after a bit. I still hate stickiness, and still will wipe her up before I kiss or touch her little cheeks and hands. I just can't. Not yet, anyways.

9. My facebook profile picture will always at least have me in it. There will never be any confusion when my status says: "I am as drunk as a skunk", and the picture beside it shows a drooling, toothless babyface. Something is just not right about that. 

I'm still pulling this one off too. Pretty much every profile picture since Charley was born has had her in it too, but the key word in that sentence is 'TOO'. I'm also in the picture. And it helped that Facebook now gives us cover photos as well which they didn't have back when I made this list so they aren't included. Which is why I was able to use this picture as a cover photo without any qualms about it.


From the sounds of things so far, I'm doing really well on my 'never' lists!


7. Birthday parties will just be with the family. Cake, ice cream, singing happy birthday and presents. I was always perfectly happy with this option, why won't my kids be??

I'm in the midst of first birthday party planning as we speak. I'm probably going a little (a lot) overboard for her me for a birthday she won't even remember, and even though I have a big family, what fun is going overboard for a birthday party if you can't show it off? Friends will be invited for sure. Now, do I invite our friends, most of whom have older kids, or do I invite my few friends with children her age? Or both? That's where I'm struggling right now.

A big fat fail for this one.

8. Showers and bathroom breaks are private time. No kids allowed. This one sounds so obvious when written out that there really shouldn't be any question about it!

Well. Yeah. See, this one time I was cleaning and cooking and such, and Charley was having a clingy day where she wanted to be held constantly. Easiest way to do that and clean is to put her in the Beco and she's as happy as a clam. (Hey, that's my first time using that little saying. Who says clams are happy anyways?) So, mid-clean I have to pee. And I plan on continuing my cleaning post-pee. So, do you unstrap her and put her down where she'll begin screaming to go pee, and then return, pick her up, strap her back on and commence cleaning, OR do you just sit on the toilet with a baby strapped to your front? I mean come on, is that even a question!?

Or, now that she's mobile and following me everywhere, there may have been a time or two that she crawled herself to the bathroom while I was occupying it. Who am I to shut the door in her sweet little face?
Totally going back on my word about this one.

10. There will never be any "kids music" in my car. They can grow up listening to what I like, no need to tone it down for them. By the age of 4, they will have their head-bob mastered for when I'm listening to rap, their head-banging mastered for when I'm in a rock mood, and their feet will be tapping (but not on the back of my seat!) for when I'm in a country mood. 

It's true, I still have yet to play any kids music in my car...FOR CHARLEY. So, still completely
passing this with flying colors. However, when I was pregnant I went to a yard sale that happened to have a Disney CD at it that I used to love as a kid teenager. I knew my nieces would like it too, so I bought it for them and gave it to them. First though, I ripped the songs onto my computer, just for safekeeping. You know, in case they scratched up the CD I could always burn them a new copy.

Or maybe, it was so I could sing The Lion King's I Just Can't Wait to be King at the top of my lungs in my car, where Charley is unfortunately an innocent bystander. So yes, kids music, but it's for me I tell you!

6. I will not blog only about my child. I hope to have a good mixture of what I blog about now, plus baby thrown in here and there. This is Life of Lacey, not Exclusively Life of Lacey's Child.

I updated you on this one a while ago. I was failing. Since then, I've pretty much continued along that path of failure. Or path of winning, depending of how you look at it. I mean, I consider it to be winning to talk about sweet Charley and get 13 comments, and then talk about a non-Charley topic and get 3. I mean, I have to give the people what they want, and apparently they want Charley.


So that got long. Basically, I fail. Mock me now I suppose. Maybe I should lay out some "I nevers" for the toddler age as well. I don't want to run out of things for you all to laugh at me about.


Natalie said...

I love this post! And you did not fail, you are just a mom. Like you I had a list of never-evers and I am pretty sure I have done every single one of them. Oops.

Diana said...

Love this!
Also, did you judge me at our zoo get together when I wore Aidan into the restroom?!

Lacey said...

Absolutely not! I've come around on this for sure. Much easier to just take them with you. I've gotten the 'one handed yank the pants up and button them' down pat!

Laura Diniwilk said...


I was honestly EXTREMELY worried that you had somehow managed to not have a babyfied house and I'm just doing it wrong. You are 1000% more organized than I am, and if even YOUR living room has Charley's things in permanent residence than it's officially not possible.

Confession: When you posted #8 I predicted failure. Either that or else a very stinky Lacey from lack of showering. When both girls were newborns our bouncer took up permanent residence on the bathroom floor for showering purposes, and I'm pretty sure I haven't had an uninterrupted poop since 2009.

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see a toddler version of this!

Jessica said...

Well, not only is my house entirely babyfied, it's a crazy mess. We can't keep up with these hooligans who go around destroying everything. Margaret (3) drags her toys into every room and Paul (1) is in that stage where he empties EVERYTHING - like all of our lower kitchen cabinets, bookshelves, etc.

Also, even *showers* are private time? I think bringing a kid with me into the shower is the best time saver ever. It makes "bathtime" only take 10 seconds out of my day, since I just have to swipe them with the soap a couple times while I'm showering anyway. Plus then I don't have to hurt myself leaning over the tub to try to wash them.

Heather said...

Love this, too! Well, mostly, I just liked to see all the cute ways you decorated your house. :)

I have to say for the most part, my house has stayed fairly un-babyfied. BUT! It helps that we have a playroom on the main level and that's where I stash all of Tory's toys and books. I did have a jumperoo and an activity center in the livingroom but she balks at the sight of them these days so I put them away in storage.

I do see that Charley has several standing-type toys in your livingroom. Care to share which ones she likes? We don't really have anything like that yet.