Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Things I Do For You II

I'm continuing to do things outside of my comfort zone for Charley. We all remember Nip Dip 2011, and now, we have The Poop. No need to fancy up the title, because, this poop was the master of all poops. At least until she starts eating solids anyways.

So, lets start from the beginning. A few weeks ago, Charley decided pooping daily was no longer for her. She decided to lessen her poop quantity by 75% and go just once every few days. We started out with a 3 day stretch, and then a 5 day stretch, and then she went 6 days which was last Saturday evening while I was out (by myself) shopping and John was home with her. Excellent timing, if I do say so myself. John disagrees, obviously.

"Daddy, I said I'm sorry! Next time I'll let Mama have it!"

So, with these less frequent poops comes more quantity poopage. And each time I have been amazed at just how much a diaper will hold. Luckily, it has always been contained since we've gotten to it fast enough and we have been at home. So yes, lots of poop to wipe, but, it's dooable. [That additional "o" was no accident.]

Which brings us to Sunday. Charley was now on day 8 of no poop and by the smell of things around here, I could tell it was coming soon. It was 10:00 in the morning, and my sister Joy was coming to pick Charley up at 10:30 for a few hours of babysitting while I went to get my hair did. [More on that later.] I had a pep talk with Charley as I was changing her (pee) diaper and asked her very nicely not to poop while with her Aunt Joy, as this was her first time babysitting her and I certainly hoped it wouldn't be the last.

Not 5 minutes later, I hear the tell-tale sound. Luckily, she's laying on the changing pad clothed in only a [fresh] diaper, as I was still searching through her drawers for something for her to wear. But that fresh diaper didn't last very long. Soon, it was full of a week's worth of poop, so I put my gloves on and got to work. [Figuratively I put my gloves on, I don't actually glove myself while changing diapers, but maybe in the future that wouldn't be such a bad idea.]

I think this job was about a 10-15 wipe job. Lots of wiping. Especially because half way through she decided to go again. More wiping. I hated having to use that many wipes, but I figure she's only pooping once a week so my wipe usage is way down as it is!  Anyways, as I use the wipes, I lay them inside the dirty diaper. Once everything is said (usually I'm singing made-up songs about poop to her) and done (dear God please let her be done!), I like to wrap up the dirty wipes inside the dirty diaper, making a ball of dirtiness, if you will, using the diaper tabs to tape it closed. However, this ball of dirtiness was too big to close. I was going to have to carry the OPEN ball of dirtiness the one and a half steps over to the diaper pail next to the dresser.


One and a half steps, you say? No problemo. I mean, I walk one and a half steps all the time. I could walk one and a half steps with my eyes closed! When it comes to walking one and a half steps, I am the master. If walking one and a half steps was an Olympic sport, I'd be the gold medalist. Get the picture?

But this day, I stumbled during my one and a half stepping. Stumbled ever so slightly, that the top 3 wipes fell off of the open ball of dirtiness and landed poo side down on the floor. And one of those wipes, decided to gracefully graze the side of Charley's wicker toy basket on the way down. Are you aware of what wicker looks like?

So yes, as it so gracefully grazed the basket, it deposited fresh poo amongst all of the crevices. All I could picture was a scene from my future:

Charley is one year old and she and I are playing in her room. She is running over to her toy basket to get another toy. Mid-reach into the toy basket, she decides to gnaw on the side of the basket for a minute. Cue: Me, remembering The Poop of 2011, and running to get her screaming NOOO! for fear that I never got all of the poo out of the crevices.

So just to be safe, I will be scrubbing the basket once more with an old toothbrush.

But, the good news is that my sister did not have to deal with The Poop and had a really good time babysitting sweet Charley. I know she would have fared just fine if The Poop occurred while she was in her care, but I would have felt really guilty for her crappy luck.

Crappy luck, indeed.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

This post literally had me laughing out loud. I know exactly what its like though. First time Ethan had a poopsplosion we were at Firstone getting my car worked on. So now whenever someone says Ethan "firestoned" we all run for cover ;) PS I love the "art work"!