Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Lacey Show

Have you ever seen the movie 'The Truman Show'? If not, you's one of my favorites. But if you haven't and don't want to run to rent it really quickly before reading this, I'll give you a quick synopsis:

Truman is a man living in a very predictable and perfect world. He says hi to the same neighbors each morning, buys the same newspaper and magazines at the same stand each morning, and comes home to a perfect home and wife each evening. He lives on an island and is afraid of the water and bridges so he never has the urge to leave or travel. The thing that Truman doesn't realize, however, is that he is the star of a 24 hour television channel/show where his life is what people tune in to watch. Everyone he knows and everything he does is planned by the island full of actors and actresses. At the end, Truman starts to figure out this secret and gets in a boat to leave this island and runs into a wall in the middle of the ocean. He then finds a stairway, climbs it, and exits a door that leads him out into the "real world." Turns out he had been living in a giant dome where everything was controlled, even down to the weather, his entire life.


So anyways, now that you have the gist of it, lets get to my point.

Today was a beautiful day. It is the weekend, and it couldn't have been nicer for February. Bright, sunny skies, not too chilly, just perfect. Tomorrow is supposed to be much of the same. And, if I remember correctly, the last few weekends have been pretty darn nice too. I am thankful for the nice weather - don't get me wrong - but it makes me start to wonder.


Because, it seems that when Monday rolls around it goes back to being cloudy and miserably cold. It stays that way all the way through Friday and then on the weekend it's gorgeous again. The first weekend that I noticed this I thought it was just coincidental. Then last weekend made the wheels start turning. And then after today (and the forecast for tomorrow) I'm considering getting into a boat myself and sailing out until I find that wall and secret stairway.

Are you guys watching me 24 hours a day? Just tell me now. It's really all starting to make sense. The reason I'm a terrible liar is because whoever I've tried to lie to already knew the truth and wouldn't let me lie to them. The reason I just know things will always work out and I don't get really worked up about them is because when you are the star of your own reality show, the producers won't let me fall too far.

So really, are you cringing when I pick my nose? Are you laughing at me when I sleep with my mouth wide open? Am I wasting my time editing and reediting this because you are reading as I am typing it?

If so, it's fine really. I will keep playing along on 'The Lacey Show' as long as my channel continues to get good ratings. I can't let the people down. But, since I have figured you all out, I promise to keep quiet and play along if you can just grant me a few small things:
  • Please tell me my family is my real family because I quite like them and it just won't be the same if they are just clever actors and actresses.
  • Can I just quit working? I promise I'd be way more interesting and entertaining if I was home all of the time.
  • Can you get me a new place to live? We've quite outgrown this place but are stuck because of your "made up" mortgage crisis in this "country."
That's all I ask. Producers, help a girl out. I've put on such a good show for you for 28 years already - it's the least you can do.

And for the rest of you, thanks for tuning in! I think I'm going to really put on a good show for you for the next few years - you just wait and see!



Andrew Opala said...

Hey, if you have nay doubts, I can always come over with a six pack of beer, and we can hit golf balls off of a bridge to nowhere.

Lacey said...

Hahaha...Andrew, that is quite possibly my favorite comment I've ever gotten. :D

& what a great actor, I mean "friend" you are!