Thursday, October 28, 2010

Goody Two Shoes

The Goal: Two matched and coordinating shoes upon my feet each day.

The Reality: It doesn't always happen this way.

I work in an office where the dress code is business casual. What this means for my feet, is that they need to be garbed in dressy shoes to match my dressy pants and skirts. This is no problemo, as I have tons of dressy shoes.

Just ask John - he trips over them daily! But, in my defense, I must take them off at the door to save our wood flooring from damage. What's a girl to do?

Anyways, moving on {and getting back to the point}....

I also ride the train into work each day which is a short walk from my office building. In order to save the heels of my shoes from destruction, I often wear flip flops in the summer as they are pretty comfortable for the short walk and are easy to take off when I get to my desk and more professional shoe wear is required. 

shoe policeThe only problem with this is that it is pretty easy to walk out of the house in the morning wearing flip flops and not grabbing a pair of heels for the work day. Most days I realize it before I get to the car, thankfully.

There has only been one day where I did not realize it and had to spend my entire work day with my feet hidden underneath my desk.

Luckily for me, the shoe police did not catch me this day.

But, if they didn't catch me that day, you'd think SURELY they would've caught me this other day...

It's another work day and I'm sitting at my desk at some point earlyish in the morning. I reach for something underneath my desk and see something astonishing and embarrassing upon my feet. While wearing an outfit that would coordinate quite nicely with a pair of black kitten heels, I discover that I am not actually wearing two black kitten heels like I had previously thought. Instead, I have on one black kitten heeled shoe, and one brown kitten heeled shoe in the same style. Panic ensues.

I think Oh. My. Gosh. I have walked onto a crowded bus (this was pre-train days), along crowded streets in my walk to my office, entered a crowded elevator, and walked around my floor all day while not even realizing the mistake that was upon my feet. I am pretty sure I blushed all by myself sitting at my desk.

Luckily, my then boyfriend John was working at a job where he drove around all day and I was able to convince him to go back home and retrieve the matching shoe and then bring it to me. And as I stood by the street and awaited the holy black kitten heeled shoe's arrival, I danced.

& not danced like you would think. As I stood there, I was constantly changing my stance into one I thought wouldn't showcase the shoe error quite as bad to the walker-bys. So as I am standing there constantly shifting my weight from one foot to the other [think a one-person, one-squared game of hop scotch], I actually draw more attention to my feet. A couple of RUDE gentlemen happen to walk by, pointed and laughed at my misfortune. I did not laugh with them.

But, the other black shoe arrived and I lived to tell the story so I guess I'm okay.

And if all that wasn't enough, there was yet another tale of shoe misfortune.

This particular day was a summer flip-flop and train day. But, I didn't forget my heels like in the story above thankfully - a successfully matched pair of heels were stowed in my purse just waiting to be worn around the office. They just didn't realize how fast I was going to throw them upon my feet in a bathroom stall that morning.

So, here I am, walking from the train to the office. La-di-da, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood-like. I make it to the elevator and back up to the wall to allow more people of which happens to be one of my bosses. "Good morning!", he says. Then, as is proper in all elevators, I look down at the floor as we make our ascent...the floor which us underneath my feet which are garbed in flip flops...the flip flops which look like -

Oh. My. Gosh. Please nobody look down and see my feet. Puhleeasee don't follow elevator etiquette today because I don't think I can even come up with a good excuse for this one. Because, instead of two matched flip flops, I am currently wearing (1) left footed tan Rainbow flip flop, and (1) right footed black Old Navy flip flop.

{Do you need a visual? Lucky for you, I put one together for you. Lucky for me, I didn't take a picture of the actual offense.}

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So the elevator stops at our floor, the doors open and we exit. There is one more door we must go through to get to our desks, and my boss [being the gentleman he is] held the door so I could walk through first. I tried to make my feet move really fast so he couldn't see the mismatched error,  

but once again I probably drew more attention to my feet by doing that and I saw him do a double-take as I rushed into the ladies room. Again, being the gentleman he is, he did not say anything and probably just thought to himself that he was seeing things so early in the morning. He was not - but I wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

Instead, I decided to tell the entire internet universe. Mainly because at this point in my healing process, I need everyone to laugh WITH me. You are laughing with me and not at me, right?


Andrea said...

definitely laughing WITH you! That's hilarious!

MillerMama said...

HAHA! There are often days when I am so tired and out of it I look down at my feet on my commute because I hope I have the right shoes on, and that they match.

Missy said...

Sadly I can feel your pain, one Casual Friday a few years ago, I got to work and realized I have on one navy blue flip flop and one black flip flop (needed 2 BLACK flip flops) AND I was having my annual review that day, so I sat with my feet crossed hiding the blue flip flop lol