Monday, March 29, 2010

Saturday Nights

Saturday nights used to look something like this:

...but this weekend, looked quite a bit different. A sign of things to come?

I was working on a jigsaw puzzle, and right next to me, John working on his...


What? You don't have a motorcycle in the middle of your living room?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Lindsay and Lori!

6 years ago today, two little blond beauties were born into my family - Lindsay and Lori. They are my sweet, precious nieces and I love them to pieces!

They were born a few months early, and were tee-tiny, itty bitty little things. These days, they are the biggest six-year olds I know. STOP GROWING! Please?!

Lori was born first and is a spunky, sassy, sweet, boy-crazy (I know! At age 6!), daredevil extraordinaire.

Lindsay is more shy, but is sweet, sensitive, caring, girly, and a definite Daddy's girl.

I love them as if they were my own! (And if sister Joy doesn't keep her eye on them, there might just be a thievery!)

Tonight we'll celebrate their SIXTH birthday. So amazing how fast time flies. I was going to put pictures up throughout all six years, but you just can't beat baby pictures.

So baby pictures it is:

I hope my baby is as sweet and precious as you two are!

And speaking of my baby, I did break the news to them last night and they didn't seem to believe me when I told them they were going to have a new cousin. This was how the conversation went:

Me: You girls need to stop growing up! We're just going to have to have a new baby in this family.

Them: YAY! We'll be big sisters!

Me: Nooo, not big sisters, but how would you feel about a new cousin?!

Lori: (obviously thinking my sister Christy was the one going to have the new baby) Umm, three kids are a lot to handle.

Me: No silly! I'm going to have a baby!

Them: (dazed and confused and looking at my lack-of-belly) Nuh-uhh.

Hopefully they are okay with not being the babies in the family for much longer. They are going to be the best big cousins ever!

Happy 6th Birthday Lindsay and Lori!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

"The Best Laid Plans...

...of mice and men often go awry." - Robert Burns ("To A Mouse")

Alternate Titles:

Mock Me Now

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

I Have ANOTHER Secret

But, not to worry, I'm clearly not good at keeping secrets so the word is out: We're having a baby!

I feel like I can officially take the training wheels off of this blog. When you read blogs, as I do, you quickly realize that 95% of them are written by mommies. I'm surprised Blogger allowed me to sign up without having that prerequisite. And not that I plan on letting the mommi-ness completely take over the blog, but I'm afraid that somehow or another some mommy stories will creep their way in.

John and I had planned on children, but the plan was to wait a year or so. God had other plans I suppose. And who am I to question God's plan, but, He may have momentarily forgotten who He was dealing with here. Is He sure He wants us to be parents??

Regardless, it's gonna happen. And here are my plans for this pregnancy. Cause so far making plans has worked out so well for me, so why wouldn't these work out??

1. I am going to sail through pregnancy easy as pie. No sickness, no mood swings, and no sleep interference.

2. I am not going to get fat all over. Just a cute little basketball belly and that is all.

3. I am still going to abide by my clothing OCD-ness. No repeating of outfits within the same month.

4. People are still gonna wanna hang out with me. Right? right? hello, is anyone here? right???

(I must really like people mocking me because I continue to give them ammunition. )

Our family and friends know, and now the entire www knows. And here are some of my favorite responses received yet:

(from a friend whose girlfriend is pregnant): "Looks like there's something in the water." - Daniel
"Congratulations! We have a dd for the next 9 months!" - Drew B.

"Booooo. JK. Congrats."
to which I replied: "Boo is right, I just ruined my whole summer!"
and he replied: "Summer? Shit. More like the next 18 years." - from one of my very best friends, Matt. Such loving words.

So, here goes nothing...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Day in the Life

My day to day life is really exciting. And dramatic. Funny even. Also, fulfilling, romantic, adventurous, and laugh out loud hilarious. For these reasons, I'm trying to get my own reality show.

You know how in the movie "The Truman Show", Truman is on TV 24/7? I think I could be that. Minus the everyone-in-my-world-acting-and-scripting-my-life part. You guys can all still play yourselves! Only, I'm the main character so don't try jumping in front of my camera crew. Well, now that we have that settled...

To prove it to you, I took pictures of nearly everything I did yesterday from my (almost) waking moment, to the very end when I crawled in bed. Warning: This gets a little long. I kept thinking I wasn't taking enough pictures of all of the excitement, until I sat down to put this together and realized just how much I'm making you sit through. But no worries, you're gonna LOVE it.

Here we are at those (almost) waking moments...

Keep in mind that my clock is ten minutes fast, so on top of slapping snooze, I am doing my first math problem of the day in my head. Who says math isn't exciting!

On this morning, I quit slapping snooze at 6:47/6:37. Sometimes I let it go one more time until 6:56/6:46. But today, I needed a shower so I didn't get to take those extra 9 minutes. Poo on cleanliness.

Rise and shine! Time for a shower... (It's okay to look, I am not about to post a nakie picture)

Shower's complete and it usually takes about 2 minutes to pick out something to wear on a morning-shower day. Criteria: No ironing and no de-cat hairing.

Speaking of cats, Reese is always a good sport to help me with hair/clothing/to shave or not to shave decisions in the mornings.

Next up: the hair routine. Including all of these supporting cast mates:

Besides teeth-brushing, that is all I do at home. What about make-up, you ask? I leave the house without any.
Since there are ten stoplights on my route, there is 100% probability that I will get stopped at two of them in the very least. Therefore, I use my stopped time wisely.

Next, I normally do my morning run in the 50 feet from my car to the train. (This day I may have left a minute or so earlier just so I could grab a photo for this here blog.)

And then in 30 short minutes, I am sitting at my desk, eager and willing to begin my workday!

For the next 5 hours, I do a lot of this:
And then, one of the most adventurous parts of the day: LUNCH TIME!

Lunchtime includes either a) making a decision about where to go or b) heading to the fridge and then the break room to heat up lunch. I can see my viewers sitting on the edge of their chairs each day as I make this decision.

Today, I decided on Bojangles. And if you aren't from the south and have no idea what Bojangles is, you are missing out!

Most days I leave my desk for lunch, but my usual lunch buddy dissed me this day so I sulked at my desk. (See, there is the drama that viewers love!)
If you are about to bring up weight watchers and slap my hand for breaking the rules this day, I assure you that my country ham biscuit is only 6 points and side of mashed potatoes (no gravy) is only 1 point!

For the next 3 hours, there is more of this:
And a little iPhone scrabbling with my buddy Matt.
And lots of trips to the water fountain.

But wait! This day was extra special because it was a co-worker's birthday! It was her 40th birthday and we celebrated with cake at the conference table. Now, I realize that a picture of the party would have been nice, but 6 of the 9 members of my department don't know about the blog and I would have been slightly embarrassed to tell them about it and my "day in the life" pictures. I'm such a dork.

So instead, a picture of my napkin and a stand-in fork.
Finally, the workday is done and I race to the elevator.

And run back to the train where my afternoon train routine is to read.
Now I understand that this part might be boring for my reality show viewers, so I will promise producers to read aloud each day. I'm sure my fellow train riders won't mind a little story time each afternoon!

When back home, I first check the mail.

And if it's an exercise day, change clothes and begin to stretch.
If you look closely, you can see that Reese also likes to assist with stretching.

And finally I'm back out of the house for a brisk 5 minute warm-up walk before my running/walking intervals.

When I get back, red-faced and all, I have some water,
and then (on a very rare occasion) start to attempt to make John and I dinner.
This night I decided to use our slider pan to make us some mini-cheeseburgers.

I mixed in some BBQ sauce and shredded cheese in the meat, and cooked the entire pound of meat. Which equaled 15 sliders. Of which, I was only allowed to eat three. Hmph.

They really weren't that good though, as John clearly demonstrates.

And if all of that wasn't proof enough that my life is one great big ball of excitement, I then snuggle up with my boy Reese and watch some TV.

Until finally, it is time for bed.
So is this a multi-million dollar idea or what?!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My Submission to Mr. Webster

Dear Mr. Webster,

I have a wonderful example for you to include in your dictionary under "lazy". Sometimes, examples with pictures are useful when trying to accurately define a word. I really believe these pictures are the epitome of laziness and will be of great use to the users of the dictionary. No need to thank me; I am only doing my part.



I really wish I could take real pictures, but I don't want to take pictures of someones house to put on display for the entire internets. So instead, as I have done before, I'll recreate these images to the best of my ability. And my ability is quite great, if I do say so myself.

Two weekends ago, February 28th, to be exact, I began my Couch to 5k running program. I prefer to run in a neighborhood near my own that has very little traffic and very few hills. As I was running this day, I came to a obstacle in my path...a strand of Christmas lights were dangling from the tree they were once in, and were stretched out across the sidewalk I was running on. All of the bulbs had shattered, leaving glass everywhere. Luckily, I was wearing shoes this particular day so I had no issues getting around the glass.

However, seeing the Christmas lights on this tree, 65 days post-Christmas no less, led me to look at the house. I was not surprised to still see the icicle lights hanging on the house.

So here we are on the first day I noticed the laziness:

Day 2 was exactly the same as Day 1, no change from before, and again I was lucky to be running in shoes again because the glass was still shattered everywhere. Whew!

Day 3 however, 6 days after the first sighting on Saturday March 6th, it was as if they could hear my thoughts when I ran by the first day. A ladder had appeared and the icicle lights were now halfway removed from the house. The homeowner must have just run in for a sandwich or something because they were no where in sight. It was probably very tiresome to remove one strand of lights from the tree and half of the icicle lights from the house. I would have been hungry too!

They did not, however, think it was necessary to sweep up the broken glass.

Days 4 and 5 I noticed the ladder was still leaning up against the house. But Saturday's lunch must have turned into an all day affair because the project was never completed. I thought to myself, "it is very dangerous to leave a ladder leaning up against your house when there are so many kids in this neighborhood!"

But not to worry! They must have thought the same thing about the safety issue, because days 6 and 7 looked like this:

They have managed to lay the ladder down on it's side, but there is still shattered glass all over the sidewalk and half a strand of icicle lights are still dangling.

Seriously people? I really hope there is a good explanation for this. But something tells me that since they didn't even bother to begin to undecorate until March 6th that this is just an example of laziness.

I hope hope hope that I never have neighbors like this. Maybe for the sake of these people's neighbors, next time I'm running by I'll do a little detour and run up the ladder, yank off the remaining lights and then continue on my run. What do ya think??

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Quitters Never Prosper

Every time someone says the word quitter, my brain/mouth go into cruise control and automatically say "quitters never prosper!". Why? Because I'm a dork, but that's besides the point.

But the irony of it is, I have quit just about everything I've ever started. So why am I dishing out advice that I don't even abide by myself?

In my life, I have quit:

- my very first job at Carowinds theme park. I worked through training, and then ONE measly day and just never went back. I really only remember dumping the leftover hot dog chili into a dumpster and flies swarming me. I think that's what scarred me!

- my 3rd job at AMC movie theaters. I worked there a bit longer than a day; more like 9-10 months. But I decided to quit around Thanksgiving/Christmas because the movie theaters do not close on holidays! Work on Thanksgiving and Christmas? No thanks!

- my 4th job at Kids R Us. I'm pretty sure I got mad at a manager at this place and just quit. Sheesh, temper, temper.

(luckily, I am quite the loyal employee these days. those were all when I was young and dumb.)
(and NO, I'm not still dumb.)

- marching band in high school. I was already a dork, and band was just making me even dorkier, or so I thought. Turns out it was just my dorky personality all along!

- college. 2 years in I decided I needed to quit, re-evaluate and figure out what I wanted to do. (I took a year off but did go back and finish up.)

- making the Europe scrapbook I started immediately after my 2007 trip. Our trip went from Rome, to Venice, to Lucerne, Switzerland, to Paris and finally to London. My scrapbook went from Rome to Venice and that is all. Pa. The. Tic.

- drinking. Yes, I quit drinking after every miserable hangover; "I am NEVER drinking again." And then, the next weekend or so, I quit NOT drinking. :)

And the thing I am best at quitting: any/all diet or exercise programs.

I never had to worry about diet or exercise from the year of my birth, 1982, all the way until about 2005. At that point, we were living (in sin) in an apartment complex that had a gym for use by the residents. John taught me how to exercise, and I did really good for about 4 months. And then it quit. I believe my excuse was that it was getting too hot outside to exercise.

Then, I took a little exercise hiatus until about 2009. The year I was to get married.

So 3 1/2 months before the wedding I signed up for Weight Watchers and lost 20 pounds before I got married.

And then, in January I quit. I quit the only thing that had ever worked for me.

But 4 weeks later I decided I needed to sign back up and would you believe they made me pay the $30 enrollment fee again?!

But I guess that's what I get. So now I'm doing really well with that again AND, in case I wanted to ensure my eventual quit, I am simultaneously doing the Couch to 5k program.

I am LOVING it! This is my second week and I'm only running 90 seconds at a time this week, but for a non-athlete that's a stinkin' lot! And I have been able to get through every 30 minute workout from beginning to end. That's a lot for me!

(In contrast to that, John had me try one of his P90x workouts one time and I made it through the warm-up and about 5.4897 minutes of the actual workout. So yeah, I'm a little weakling.)

I wanna be able to last the entire 9 weeks, I really do. But how do I quit, well, being a quitter?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Joy!

One of my hopes for my blog for 2010 was to remember to do a birthday post for my family and friends on their birthdays. So far I have posted ZERO birthday blogs, and I've missed 2 friends and 1 family member. Next year guys, next year.

However, my dear sister Joy's birthday was just yesterday. So while it might be odd to post a birthday blog about my friends birthday that was 2 full months ago, a day late won't be so bad.

So, this is Joy:

She is an awesome sister and my #1 blog fan! Lemme tell you a bit about her:

1. She's one of my two older sisters, and was the baby in the family until I came along. So our relationship may have started with her being a tad bit bitter over me coming along...

2. Which I'm sure is the reason she liked to pick on me when I was just a young, innocent, sweet little girl.

3. For example, when I was around 4 years old, she told me I was too skinny to come outside because I would get blown away from the wind,

4. So every time I went out I was holding on to the swing set so I wouldn't fly away! Wow, so she pretty much ruined all of my outside playtime for the entire age of 4!

5. & then, when I got over that, she told me that whenever a bird flew over my head I would get the chicken pox,

6. So then I was outside running and ducking from any possible fowl flyovers!

7. Our neighbors must have thought I was such a strange little girl when I was outside playing.

8. In high school, we used to have to change into gym clothes for gym class.

9. I didn't have any cool gym clothes.

10. But sister Joy across the hall did! She had really cool NEON YELLOW Umbro shorts!

11. I used to "borrow" them often. And so often, that sweet Joy left a note for me in her drawer one day that said something along the lines of "STAY OUT LACEY". How did she know it was me!?

12. Joy is a major germaphobe.

13. Has probably single-handedly kept the anti-bacterial companies in business.

14. She also cannot stand to drink after someone, ESPECIALLY if they used a straw. But, has gotten a little better about that since her kids have come along.

15. She is NOT a morning person.

16. On Christmas morning, my brother and I would always wake up first and fight over who had to be the one to wake up Joy. How could anyone possibly wake up grumpy on Christmas?!

17. Joy could.

18. Gosh, this list isn't turning out very sweet for it to be a birthday post. But she is sweet too...

19. Once, when I was a little girl I was woken up by some growling noises outside my window and wandered in to teenager Joy's room where she was still awake, laying in bed, and chatting on the phone with one of her friends.

20. She just thought I was hearing things, but let me crawl in her bed with her while she stayed on the phone since I was scared.

21. But then she heard the growling too and went and woke up our parents.

22. I wish I could remember the ending to the story to tell you, but I cannot. I think it was a dog? Sorry to keep you hanging, but my memory fails me!

23. She also did my hair for my junior prom.

24. & did a great job!

25. So see, she's sweet too!

26. (I'm sure there's more, but again, the memory...)

27. But most of all, she is just a great sister, sister-in-law, wife, aunt, daughter, mama and friend.

28. & I wish her the very best!

29. Love, Lacey

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mock Me Later

Just cause I'm always a good sport for some friendly mocking, I'm going to go ahead and share the list of things I will never do when I'm a parent. Feel free to come back and reference the list when I am a parent and mock me; "You said right here on March 4th, 2010 that you would NEVER blah blah blah. I told you so!"

I have an unrealistic list of things that I would never do if that was my kid, and since I'm such a fan of the List, I thought I'd put them in list form.

And these aren't meant to offend any current parents. I'm just a naive, clueless, non-parent that I'm sure is in for a rude awakening. So, mock away; I give you permission.
1. This one is the most important: I will NEVER, and I mean NEVER own a mini-van. UNLESS, I have septuplets or something that simply cannot fit in any other vehicle. Mark. my. words.

2. My kids will never sleep in the bed with me. Cats are welcome; children get out!

3. I don't see myself ever getting over my hatred of all things sticky. If my baby just ate a sucker and the majority of it is on their hands, cheeks, lips and nose, I will not welcome a kiss or a hand-hold. Sticky is icky.

4. "You don't know what love is until you lay eyes on your baby." How could I possibly love another human being more than I already love myself?

5. Strollers are too much trouble. Too big, bulky, don't fit down the aisles of my favorite Juniors' departments. (Just kidding on that last one; although I stayed in Juniors for as long as I could, I did finally find my way to the ladies department). After my kid is able to walk really well, they will be walking. Really well.

6. There will be no car-pool line for this Mama. I gotta stay at home and save gas because my non-minivan (a.k.a. SUV) is not so fuel efficient. Those kiddies will be on the big yellow cheese wagon!

7. Birthday parties will just be with the family. Cake, ice cream, singing happy birthday and presents. I was always perfectly happy with this option, why won't my kids be??

8. Showers and bathroom breaks are private time. No kids allowed. This one sounds so obvious when written out that there really shouldn't be any question about it!

9. My facebook profile picture will always at least have me in it. There will never be any confusion when my status says: "I am as drunk as a skunk", and the picture beside it shows a drooling, toothless babyface. Something is just not right about that.

10. And finally, there will never be any "kids music" in my car. They can grow up listening to what I like, no need to tone it down for them. By the age of 4, they will have their head-bob mastered for when I'm listening to rap, their head-banging mastered for when I'm in a rock mood, and their feet will be tapping (but not on the back of my seat!) for when I'm in a country mood.

Don't tell me I shouldn't have kids. It will hurt my feelings! Instead, I'll allow you to place bets in the comment section about which rules I will break first. And, go!