Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Anti

I'm not a very political person. Don't have many REALLY strong opinions. And you would never catch me out picketing for some cause:


(really people, what is the point of picketing? has it ever really done any good? has the picketee ever walked outside and said okay okay, you've threatened me with a bunch of signs on sticks so I'm going to stop doing [fill in the blank]? Yeah, didn't think so. And don't you people have jobs?)

But there are a couple of things that I am very anti. Not anti enough to ever picket these things, but anti enough to hide behind my computer screen and vent to the www.

First, ANTI-CIGARETTES.
Do I really even need to explain myself? I know that they are addictive, but good news! Other people have been able to quit, and I really think you can too! I know that sounds very pompous of me to say seeing as how I've never smoked so I've never had to try and quit, but I stand by it. You can do it!

They stink. They make you stink. And not to mention they will kill you. And I don't want you to die. I care about you.

This morning on the train an older lady sat next to me and the whiff that came with her could have knocked me over. I think she must have had a life-sized ash tray in her house and rolled around in it this morning. It was awful. And after a few minutes when I had somewhat adjusted and not smelled her as much, she opened her purse and the whiff that came out of there was 10 times worse. My eyes were watering, I needed to cough, etc., etc. Terrible. And if that wasn't enough, as soon as I got off the train and to my building, I ended up in the elevator with "smoker lady" and it was like train lady 2.0. My lungs would like to tell you that it was not a good start to my day today.

Second, ANTI-TANNING


I probably don't need to explain myself here either. But maybe I picked an extreme picture and you tanners are thinking, "but I'm not that bad" so you are going to ignore whatever I have to say. That lady is beyond help, so maybe you still have a chance to save your skin!

It probably sounds hypocritical coming from me, the whitest of the white. Maybe if I was naturally dark and was still anti-tanning it would sink in more. It's like I'm telling you not to tan so you can be pale like me. But I'm not. I WOULD like to have some natural color, believe it or not. But pigment isn't what I was blessed with, and so I'll let it be.

And if you weren't blessed with naturally darker skin either, you shouldn't try to fake it. It reminds me of anorexic people, actually. Many of my friends are tanners, and they are constantly saying, "I am SO pale! I need to go back to the tanning bed." (Meanwhile I'm standing beside them and looking at my skin compared to theirs, thinking, Whatttt???) And no matter how many times they go back to the cancer bed, they keep saying they aren't tan enough. Like an anorexic says she/he is still fat, when you can see every bone in their body.

If you are scared of being "the white one" in your group of friends and standing out, let me assure you that even though people may have mentioned my pale skin before, it was never in a way that was, "you need a tan!". [at least not to my face!] SIDE NOTE: actually once, one friend of a friend did say "You need a tan!" and I [not so] politely responded "umm no I don't. I've already had skin cancer once and I'm not looking to repeat!" Awkward silence followed. And if they did say it behind my back, I feel sorry that they are so misinformed! (feel privileged, you are now part of the informed group!)

Agree? Disagree? Did I offend? Well, what good is a blog if you can't say what you really feel on your own piece of the internets?! Feel free to tell me how you feel too. And remember, I AM an expert on cigarettes because I was a member of this:


If only I still had the shirt...

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